Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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