Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
