I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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