Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
