Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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