Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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