Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Be still, my beating vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
