I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
