did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
