Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
