I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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