i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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