The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
