He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
