i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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