i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
