Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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