i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
