i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i came on her dog
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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