mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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