Don't you send me to vm
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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