summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize