I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
babies were throwing up all over the place
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
two words: eviction party
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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