I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
