just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
