I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
