Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
