if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
