I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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