i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
