i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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