1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
