your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
