Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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