My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
