my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
