I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
