he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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