You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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