I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
