someone get that fucking seahorse.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
