his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
