WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
