So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
