Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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