You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
