yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
