your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
