sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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