how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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