it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
