i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
