i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
