i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
