1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize