I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
