He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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