I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
