i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
