I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
