the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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