youre lurking in front of me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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