so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you win again, gameday.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
