i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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