She is in my trunk
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
